A Mother’s Day Message, The word happy does not necessarily fit perfectly in front of all Mother’s Day days. If it is not in front of yours this year for whatever reason, please do not beat yourself up. I can distinctly remember two where the happy was crossed off and it felt more like- how did I get my self into this mess day -and the other one was a mixed bag of emotions kind of day brought on by a miscarriage. My first Mother’s Day was truly not that happy. I was slowly still coming out of my postpartum anxiety/depressive state and I remember waking up and telling myself to pretend things were great, but deep down I was still thinking how hard this was and how I will never truly be myself again. It wasn’t a happy day. If this is you. I feel you. You will get out. My other non happy Mothers’ Day was after I had a miscarriage. I was three months pregnant and the baby was due in mid May which I thought might be on the special mom day. That Mother’s Day after the miscarriage I was sad, guilty, worried, angry and scared. Sad because I would have had a second child, scared because I was just pregnant again and I was wondering if another miscarriage awaited, guilty because I didn’t know if having a second was the right thing to do based on my first experience. And the emotions just swirled and swirled. It wasn’t a good day. Truth be told I never told anyone about this till now. I felt shame and weak, so I kept it to myself. My message. Mommas wherever you are on your journey this Mother’s Day or whatever you are going through I wish you the best even if you are not at your best.